Leap

Remember the first time you took a pregnancy test and it was positive?
Remember how you kept checking it to make sure it wasn't your imagination, then went out and bought another one just to be sure?
Remember how you waited to call your mom, your sister, your best friend, so you could tell your husband the news first?
Remember how you searched online to find the most creative way possible to tell him about that little blue plus sign?
Remember how you could hardly sleep that night as visions of your future child filled your head?

So it begins.

Today we were accepted in the America World Adoption program for Ethiopia.

Does My Microwave Leak Microwaves?

My struggle this week:

Let my kid face the harsh realities of life.
OR...
Shield him from hurt.

This is harder than you think.

Here's the culprit:

His science fair was last week.
When I went to help judge other projects, I was told that his project looked like his parents had done it and it got graded down because it was typed.
I usually don't have a temper but I had to leave the building.

So how do I teach him to accept the grade he received when I am having trouble accepting it myself?
How do I show him how to be graceful in a situation filled with anything but grace?
And why am I struggling with this?

I can't remember anything bad from my childhood.
My home was extremely stable.
All my memories are really happy.
Pool parties.  Family game nights.  Sleepovers with best friends. Piano lessons. Grandparents as babysitters. Tree forts.  Lots of little animals that my mom and I fell in love with and couldn't resist. Art projects. Stories and books.
These are the first things that come to mind I talk about my childhood.

So, I am left thinking.
Did my parents shield me from the hard stuff?
OR...
Did my stable childhood just overcome hard life lessons I had to learn?
OR...
Does my memory just stink?
OR...
A combo of all three?

Thank-you, mom and dad.
Thank-you for shielding me when I needed your protection.
Thank-you for providing enough positive life lessons that somehow the hard ones just took their place among them and don't stand out as painful.

I guess it all boils down to grace again, doesn't it?!

Happy Birthday, dad.
I appreciate you.
I love you.

Pantyhose

makes you smile, doesn't it?

growing up, i went to a christian school where we had to wear 'em everyday along with our knee length skirts.

not smiling anymore, are ya?

perhaps you need a visual.

smiling again?

at least i had a cool trapper keeper.

right now, i am so very very passionate about grace. i can't stop the grace concept from infiltrating every part of my life.

i am concerned that so many Christians want to wear panyhose. 

need another visual?

but pantyhose restrict. 

they itch. 

they're uncomfortable. 

they tone everyone to be the same color. 

they get holes easily. 

and quite frankly, they stink when you wear them too long. 

God's grace allows for freedom.

FREEDOM.

unless you had to wear panyhose for 12+ years of your life, you may not really understand what freedom from those nasty things feels like. 

God knew there was a better way to live. 

freedom to expose (gasp!) your real self to the world. 

freedom to say, "i'm not perfect."

freedom to be not boring. to live a life of adventure.

freedom to emit an odor that is so fragrant and inviting that everyone comes to see what is making it.

ha!ha!ha! that line made me laugh so i'm leaving it in.

freedom to accept others how they are, 

where they are, 

who they are; 

and know that I am only responsible for extending grace to them.

just as it was extended to me. 

GRACE. extended. to. me.

for. me.

pantyhose.

yuck.

please put them away.

I'm grouchy and I know it.

I've written three blog posts this week, but have yet to post one. 

I don't like writing when I am discouraged. But here's the problem. I've been discouraged.

So I am going to keep it short and not so sweet. Maybe I'll post those others sometime. Maybe I won't.

Pray for me.

 

Pray for Eli.

Pray for our family. 

I am struggling to be a nice mom. 

The kids fight alot. 

I feel crabby. 

They are crabby. 

Eli is busy. 

There you have it. 

valentine

when i met eli, i was still a kid. 18 year old. and clueless. 

we found each other to be fun and exciting and started our relationship that way. 

 2 years later i made one of the best decisions i have made.

we started our marriage committed to each other and a life of adventure.

after we graduated from college, we started having thoughts of "settling" down. 

in those first three years we moved 5 times to 3 different states. 

all the changes made me feel like i was living out our adventure story. 

babies started arriving at out house. yearly. we moved one more time and committed to creating a secure life for our little ones. 

our adventures became different than they had before. a bit milder, but not less exciting. 

as our babies grew, so did our trust in GOD to be the orchestrator of our adventures.

and as time continues on, 

i'm so thankful that we made a commitment to live a life of adventure. to welcome change. to seek to stand out and be different. to continually evaluate if we are moving forward. to avoid ruts.

and i'm so thankful that we included GOD's plans. for ours could never truly be as exciting as his.

and i'm so thankful that i get to share it with you. 

i love you, eli. always yours.

moving mountains

Baylee: "Mom, how did the mountains get there? Did they grow?"

Me: "God put them there."

Baylee: "But can he move them?"

Me: "The Bible says that if we have faith as small as a mustard seed we can move mountains. So yes, God can move them."

Baylee: "What does that mean?"

Me: "It means that God answers our prayers."

Baylee: Silence....

Baylee: "How come they didn't move?"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Baylee: "I prayed that they would move, and they didn't."

Me: "God does things for a purpose. There isn't really a purpose for him to move the mountains."

Landon: "God doesn't answer my prayers either."

Me: "What are you talking about?"

Landon: "Remember in Three Lakes, when we got lots of snow. I got stuck in the snow, and I prayed for God to get me out, and he didn't."

Me: "You got out, didn't you?"

Landon: "Yes, but you helped me out, not God."

WOW!

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Do we see God answer our prayers, even it isn't the way we expected him to?

Go in Peace, my Friend

GOD has given me a gift.
it is the ability to live fully in the present.
i truly believe it is a gift.
along with this gift is the potential to leave people from the past feeling neglected
and a temptation to treat older relationships as unimportant.
this potential has really been on my heart and mind the past couple of weeks.
i know i am guilty of it.

a song has been forming in my head to share the importance of my friendships.

i think it's probably a little bit cheesy, but being a wisconsin native, i'm allowed to do cheesy, right?

to write the verses to this song, which i may or not post later, i just sat down and thought of my favorite memories with my friends. most of them weren't huge out of the ordinary events. they were the living life together events. dinner. coffee. breakfast. games. parks. swimming. camping. painting. crafting. setting up the trampoline. it makes me cry in thankfulness to remember them. 

may we have many more memories together!

1 samuel 20 is a tragic story of the deep friendship between david and johnathan.
as i was reading this passage,
1 Samuel 20:42 really stuck out to me.

Jonathan said, “Go in peace! The two of us have vowed friendship in God’s name, saying, ‘God will be the bond between me and you, and between my children and your children forever!’”

so when i reference the words, "go in peace," this is what i am referring to.

"this is a friendship that God has sent,

so go in peace my friend.

and know, i'll love you til the end."