Fear

So.

I can hear the crickets chirping, and not in an artsy, good way. In an awkward way with me introducing myself. My name is Raelle and I blog over at tons of beautiful. I'm a stay at home mom to two little ones, but they're actually really big. I love to write about our daily life and I drive around with a family size bag of twizzlers in the pocket of my car door.

That's me.

From the minute Lindsay asked me to write on her blog, I got writers block. I was wracking my brain trying to think of something fun, to draw people in, like brain candy. I had nothing. 

Then, the opposite happened, my writers block left and I thought about putting everything and anything on this little guest post. Thankfully, my impulses are controlled.

Fear.

It's actually the last thing on earth that I want to write about. The last. I promise. It's assumed that fear has no place in a Christian's life. That God has reign and rule and fear is squashed. That's what I believe, but that's not what I always live.

It's been something on my mind a lot lately, so I tried to engage my kids.

 I asked my four year old daughter, Eden, what she was afraid of. She said "a man with a white shirt and black and white striped pants". Hmmmm, or should I say Arggghhh :)

 Then I asked my little two year old boy Micah, what he was afraid of. He said the "tooth song". It's on the latest Veggie Tales movie, and it's quite funny. But he does break out into an open wail when he sees it.
I've told myself for so long that I'm not afraid. But I am.
There's so many things, that I'm embarrassed.
I'm afraid of pregnancy, getting too close in relationships, something happening to my kids, my husbands commute, failure in so many areas, to name a few. I know that at the feet of Jesus is the only place where these things belong. That's their only place in this life.
A song that I love so much is Redemption Rain by Jonathan David Helser and Melissa Helser. It talks about how when we take down the walls that we've put up there's so much room; room for greater faith, greater love.
Fear is a wall I've put up. No one would know it though. It's in a little secret compartment in my brain that only  I know about. When I'm quiet and still, sometimes I go there, and I'm haunted, and so incredibly afraid. I know it's wrong, and it seems like some sort of secret sin.
It's no different than any other sin others commit.
Psalm 118:6 says, "The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid."
It's true.

I've laid it at the feet of Jesus.

And tomorrow I'll lay it down again

And the next day and the next.

I don't need the wall of fear in my life.

I need room for greater love and greater faith.