Prayer from a Mother's Heart

As night quietly progresses, and my children are snug in their beds; I want to make sure I say thank-you.

For Riley:

His recent illustration has brought peace to my conflicted heart.

I have never been sure of what's going on in his mind. Some kids use words to communicate. He uses art. I love that! Thank-you for his creative spirit. for his gentleness. for his love of peace. for his sense of justice. and loyalty. his protectiveness. his ability to encourage. his love of reading. his intelligence. his love of science. even his love of electronics! his love of nature. his sense of outdoor adventure so similar to his dad's. his love of letter-writing. I love the way he uses a babyish voice when he's talking to Landon and other little kids. Thank-you for that sweetness. his sense of silliness. his sense of responsibility. Thank-you for his friends, old and new. Thank-you that he likes to be with kids whose parents I like to be with. I love who he is growing up to be!

I ask for courage. for bravery for Riley. That fear wouldn't hold him back from things he wants to do. that he needs to do. That when the time comes for him to stand strong, that he will be able to. 

Help me be a parent that is able to help fulfill his need for purpose. That he would learn from my example. That he would learn how necessary it is to put others before himself. how to work hard. how to turn knowledge into wisdom. how to use his giftedness. how to love. how to be honest. transparent. how to confront when necessary. how to forgive. how to radiate GRACE. 

For Raelyn:

I've gotten a new appreciation observing her in her class this year. She's so animated and attentive that it's no wonder all her classmates want to be her friend. Thank-you for her ability to make friends. to be a friend. to be friendly. Thank-you for her sense of fun. her enthusiasm. her creativity. her love of companionship. her administration. her ideas. her ability to plan and follow through. her attention to detail. her awareness. her gracefulness. her love of beauty. her love of music. of dance. her zeal for life. her self-sufficiency. her responsibility. her love of community. of fellowship. her respectfulness to her teachers. for her ability to teach. to perform. 

I ask that Raelyn learns patience, and contentment. That she learns to enjoy life at the pace it comes and to appreciate the process along with the result. 

Help me be a parent that is quick to affirm her. physically. intellectually. emotionally. spiritually. Help me give her periods of undivided attention. Because she is so good at entertaining herself and not needy of me, she is the easiest child for me to overlook. Help me not let that happen. Help me demonstrate clear and responsible leadership and gracefully admonish her when necessary. Help me respond to her, rather than react. 

For Baylee: 

Everyone wants to make Baylee smile. to laugh. to open up. There is something about her that draws people in, and when they are eventually rewarded with a smile, laugh, or hug, they feel a sense of accomplishment, and a love for this little girl. Thank-you for her slow smile. her neediness. her trust. her giggle. her surprising sense of daring. her little acts of bravery. her love of her siblings. her desire for cuddles. and hugs. her smart little brain. her love of reading. love of learning. her desire for security. in relationships. in her physical surroundings. her ability to lighten the mood. her love for her teachers. for her classmates. for her friends. for her cousins. for her grandparents. her desire to be included. her love of art. her sense of accomplishment. her sensitivity. her soft heart. her patience with Landon. with Raelyn. with Riley. with her mom! Thank-you for her total inability to rush.

Help Baylee be confident in who she is. who you made her to be. Help her to reach out to others. instead of always being a recipient, help her to give. give love. give comfort. give support. to give her own unique gifts to help those around her. 

Help me fulfill Baylee's need for love. May I help her fragile sense of security by making sure she feels accepted just as she is. Help her feel secure belonging in a family that loves each other deeply and honors each other. Help me shower her with affection whenever possible. Help me never to feel inconvenienced by her needs and her best interest. 

For Landon:

I can't help but smile when I think about Landon. he is a delight. Thank-you for Landon. You knew I needed some refreshment. some comic relief. so you sent me Landon. Thank-you for his sense of humor. his desire to be funny. his silliness. his easy laughter. his ability to break the ice. and the guts to try. Thank-you for his inhibitions. his affection. his fearlessness. his love of family. his love of disabled people. of elderly people. of babies. of animals. Thank-you for the friends you have sent him in his short little life. I had no idea a person so little could have such close friends, but he does. Thank-you for his companionship. for his love of chit-chat. his desire for constant attention. Thank-you for a child that wants to go everywhere with his parents. that chooses adventure over the daily. Thank-you.

Lord, help develop a sense of respect in Landon. Don't let his desire for a good time override his desire to see others. in their hurt. in their need. I'm so glad he loves to be with others, but develop his love of quiet times to. 

Help me never be too busy, too harsh, or too skeptical for his developing personality. Give me the grace to encourage him to be different. to be vulnerable. to be candid. to make mistakes.

What gifts you have given me! Help me never take my responsibility too lightly. Grow me into the momma that enables my children to reach the potential that you created them uniquely with. Help me be a constant well of grace and acceptance for my darling children. Thank-you!!!

  

Blue Skies

I've been busy.

I'm still busy.

So just pics.

Our beautiful sledding terrain.

In sunny Colorado.

And the little something I sent out with your books.

Just Dance

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity…” –Amelia Earhart

I grew up in environment where dancing was looked down on. Classical dance, like ballet or tap might pass, but was considered gateway for other kind of dancing and so if you participated you had to be on your guard. In my heart, I always wanted to dance.

As a college student, I discovered that David had danced undignified in the streets and that the Psalms are full of dancing. I remember going to weddings where everybody else seemed to be having so much fun dancing during the reception. I would sit, self-conscious, wanting to participate, but not sure how to dance. Sad.

We went to my Aunt-in-law’s house for Thanksgiving this year. After dinner, the kids got out Just Dance. I was hooked. I bought my kids two different Just Dance games for Christmas and I play as often as they do. 

During the past 10 years, I have learned to get up off my chair, forget my self-consciousness and dance. I still don’t really know how to dance, but it doesn’t matter. Because nobody really cares if I can or can’t dance.

This week, I have had a phrase repeating in my head.

“Don’t just sit by and watch.”

When I first heard it, I was reminded of myself sitting at  those wedding receptions years ago.

As I am quite sure it’s God voice speaking to me, I have some ideas of what it might the phrase might mean.

It might mean that I need to start to the adoption that has been heavy on my heart for over a year now.

It might mean that I’ve talked about homeless shelters, and the women’s resource center long enough.

It might mean that the MOPS groups in our area that have long waiting list need another MOPS group to partner with.

It might mean a lot of things.

For certain, it is a CALL TO ACTION.

A friend reminded me of this verse from James 1:25 today, “…being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.”

HE. WILL. BE. BLESSED. IN. HIS. DOING.

Risk

Some of you know the story of my Suburban.

We had a minivan that died. Like permanently died. While I was driving Raelyn back from a birthday party. We had talked about buying a new car, but in the past when we prayed about a vehicle, God had always come through. So we decided to not buy a car and pray about God providing us with one.

One particularly miserable day, a few days after the death of the minivan, I was walking home from taking Baylee to school. I was wet, cold, and cranky, hating to have wet feet that I can never seem to get warm in a Wisconsin spring. I remember praying, "God, if your going to provide a car, you better do it fast, because I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to walk in this cold."

I got to our house, peeled off my wet socks, and Eli burst in through the door.

Unaware of my prayer just minutes before, he said, "Guess what!" threw an envelop at me. I opened it, and to my surprise (which shouldn't have been my surprise), there was enough money to buy a Shackelford vehicle.

Eli had had lunch with a young man that our family was just beginning a relationship with. When they were done, the man had handed Eli an envelope with a simple explanation of, "God told me to give this to you." Eli didn't even open it until he was in the driveway of our home.

A few days later, we received a phone call from our church board informing us that our church had decided to give us the Suburban.

God provided ABOVE and BEYOND what we NEEDED.

Fast forward to present time.

The Suburban had been giving me trouble since Christmas. It got bad enough that I stopped using it except for dire necessities because I ended up calling Eli to come jump me whenever I did. When I was walking Baylee to school in the snow, I prayed my familiar prayer, "God, provide me with a car that works, because I'm not sure how long I can walk in this cold."

Eli and I took the car into the shop last week and asked them to fix whatever the problem was with the Suburban. When we went to pick it up the next day, a lady from our church was there with a man I had never met. The woman introduced us, and before I realized what was happening, the man had payed the entire bill for our car.

I think perhaps we're able to see God answering our prayers so clearly in these kind of situations because we've actually allowed ourselves to come to a place of real need.

As Americans, we've learned to provide a "safety net" for ourselves in case of emergency.

Money. Housing. Family. Friends. Health. Jobs. Ministry. School.

We rarely put ANYTHING on the line to watch God work. We try to eliminate the risk factor in every way possible.

We've gotten so good at providing for ourselves, that we don't leave much room to depend on God.

Prayer.

Dependence.

Risk.

Prayers are often answered

By God

Through dependent people

Taking risks.

Which side of the Risk are you on?

With bated breath

Here it is...the unveiling...the much coveted and awaited gift...wait, she is sending not one, but two gifts...

First, you will all receive your very own copy of The Pursuit of God.

Secondly, you will receive a small handmade item from me, which you will have to wait and be surprised to see what it is.


I have already ordered the books for all of you and also for those of you who wrote and told me you were following even if you were unable to set it up on google. Some of you also wrote that you didn't need a gift but I bought you one anyway so I am wondering if you could all help me out for the sake of my time that it would take in tracking down your addresses and please, please, Facebook me a personal message with your address in it?! Thanks! I will try to get them out as soon as they arrive here which should be in 4-5 days.

FREE gifts for my followers!

I'm kind of excited because my blog reached 1000 hits today. My sister-in-law Cara, has inspired me to make a little money doing something that I enjoy. So...I will be changing my URL soon, and...this is where you come in, I need more blog followers. To inspire you to "follow" my blog, I will send a little gift to every person that follows my blog by tomorrow, wednesday the 9th at 11:59 pm mountain time. I will need your address' so please send it to me in a personal message on Facebook or by email. I will let you know what I am sending on Thursday.

Landon and his Christmas present "Gracie" which he named himself.

cold

it's been cold. like wisconsin cold. here. in utah.

i don't know if was the soul cleanse. or the connecticut shooting. or the books i've been reading. or the young men i saw buying guns at the pawn shop. or the sensitivity of my heart at this point in my life. 

but something is amiss. in me. in our country. in our world.

one area in particular is on my mind and spirit.

and i have started becoming very convicted that the movies we watch in this country are BAD. and they cause us to become insensitive to BAD things. they cause some people to be ok with doing BAD things. and we pass if off as weird NOT to watch these BAD mainstream movies and television. 

we watch as people shoot other human beings.

without flinching.

we watch people get beat up by other human beings. 

without flinching. 

we watch people use others, abuse others, hurt others, kill others. 

without flinching.

we find pleasure in watching the "good guy" kill all the "bad guys."

we let our innocent children watch animated violence.

and let them laugh at it. 

seriously.

is there ANYTHING in tom and jerry that is justifiable?

and i am quite sure that it makes GOD sad.

and i can't quite help but contrast JESUS with our "good guys."

i am at fault. i justify what i watch, by saying, "it's not that BAD. at least it's not as BAD as so-and-so watches." and a million other lies.

but here is the real problem. the thing that probably makes GOD the saddest. i am convicted by these thoughts. but i don't know why i'm not strong enough to make a commitment to not watch MOST movies. because that's how many it is. MOST.

here's the real kicker. i'm not sure i WANT to make that commitment. and i'm not sure why i'm so torn by this.

i know what is right.

i want to do what is right.

one of those statements is a lie.

am i the ONLY one that's torn on this? and why?

Ain't nobody got time for dat!

Whenever I think about writing out my New Years resolutions (they're here safe in my head); I keep thinking, "Ain't nobody got time for dat!"

Fortunately, for Amazon, I got a Kindle for Christmas. 

So instead, I'm going to share my book list with you. 

The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. 

I am finishing the last chapter today. I really want Eli to write a book review as he read it with me and he is an AMAZING writer, but he probably ain't got time for dat. 

Relationship with God 101. This book is LIFE CHANGING. I plan on reading it several times this year so that the truths of Tozer's insights become part of my continual pursuit of God. If you desire a deeper relationship, this is a must read!

Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis

I had read her blog for awhile a year or so ago and found Katie refreshing and inspiring. I hadn't read anything by her since we moved, so when someone recommended her book, I was super excited to read it. I've only read the first two chapters, and already I am wondering why I am settling for a life in middle class America when I could serve in a third world country like this twenty year old who also happens to be in the process of adopting 13 children!

Family Matters by Rohinton Mistry

I read a book called A Fine Balance by this author when I was in college, and have never been the same since. His novel, set in Bombay, was such a clear word picture of life in a third world country, that I haven't been ready for the heaviness of another one of his novels. This book has been sitting on my shelf for many years now and I think I'm finally ready for it.

A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans

Rachel is a very controversial author amongst Christians. Lifeway won't even carry this book although they did sell her last book, Evolving in Monkey Town. 

In this book, Rachel takes a year to live out things written in the Bible about women. I think the point of the book is that Jesus' life and death erased the need for women to live out the laws of the Old Testament, but that Christians still pick and choose some of the laws as necessary to living a "Godly" life.

I read some of Rachel's stuff before and find her witty and amusing, and despite her sarcastic style she asks really good questions. 

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

I've heard SO many good things about this book. It's a must-read for me. 

Grace-Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel

My cousin told me about this book a couple of weeks ago and the things she told me really struck a chord in my heart. Since then, I have had several other people mention this book to me. I haven't read a   great parenting book for years, so I am hoping this is one that I am able to recommend to others. 

The Circle Maker by Mark Patterson

I started reading this book when it was located in our bathroom, but since it's relocation I haven't picked it up. I think about it whenever I pray for my future hopes and vision and plan to put it back in the bathroom where it belongs. 

The Book of Mormon

This just seems like a book that should be required reading for all Utah residents. I really want someone to read this with me!

the year in pictures

2012.

January

Honeyrock.

Winterfest.

The Dells.

February.

Birthday party. 

Baby shower.

A baby.

March.

Snow days.

Landon's 3rd birthday.

Goodbye to a friend.

A Valentine's day dance.

                                          

April.

Florida.

Dance recital.

May.

Trip to Salt Lake.

June.

Riley at camp.

My birthday.

House for sale.

July.

Trip across the country.

VBS.

New experiences.

 August.

Visit from Pulvers. Riley's birthday.

Soccer. A visit from Ledbetters.

Cousins.

September.

School starts.

                                                   

A new house.

October.

Halloween. A visit from Elizabeth.

November.

Eli in Haiti.

A visit from Jacqui and Natalie.

Mamie and Papa visit.

December.

Baylee's birthday.

Christmas. Grandpa Ed visit.

Night sledding.

New Year. 2013.