it has been a hard week.
a hard year.
on january 1st i picked my
one word.
it was bridge.
i wanted to be a bridge to people who didn't usually associate with other people.
i wanted to look back on this year and see relationships formed that i had a part in connecting.
i wanted to be a part of connecting people with the one i'm infatuated with, Christ.
you see, i am a peacemaker.
i cannot live without peace.
and i wanted to blanket my surroundings with the same peace that i crave.
in my mind,
bridge
resulted
in
peace.
but as i look back on the last 12 months of my life, if i had to describe it in one word it would be...loss.
loss of my home.
loss of best friends.
loss of family.
loss of church.
loss of position.
loss of recognition.
loss of pride.
loss of hope of adopted child.
loss of job.
loss of income.
loss of security.
loss of trust.
loss of control.
i do not write about those things so you can cry me a river. i've done enough of that for this last week.
i tell you so that you have an appropriate backdrop for what i want to share.
GOD has put a hope and desire in eli and my heart. yes, as i think about it, it's in my
children's hearts too. (check out riley's picture on the link and you will see it.)
if you have ever spent time with us, in the past couple of years, you certainly know what i'm referring to.
we hear, "that's not going to work here in the valley, we have the only way that works."
but THAT is not what GOD has put in our hearts.
and.
it is hard to have your hopes and dreams put down by others.
really hard.
especially when you feel like GOD, HIMSELF, put them inside you.
naturally, you call GOD into question.
in my discouragement i pray, "if this is something that YOU are doing, 'bringing us out, to bring us in,' then i need to see it confirmed EVERYDAY.
'
if your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here!'
we can't do it on our own.
because i'm not sure.
i'm scared.
others who seem to know better tell us that it won't work."
(duet. 6:23, ex 33:15)
and friends,
my prayer is answered EVERYDAY.
yesterday, it was my dental hygienist. i could say NOTHING with her hands in my mouth. but i didn't need to say ANYTHING. GOD was saying it.
BRIDGE, lindsay.
i can look back at the lindsay from 12 months ago, who said, "life is easy," and smile and shake my head.
"LIFE is not easy." i respond. "but, LIFE is worth it.
LIFE contains loss.
perhaps, the loss is what makes LIFE worth it.
you were wrong to assume life was easy.
you were wrong to assume that bridge equated peace, lindsay.
it doesn't."
if allowed:
loss establishes faith.
loss builds gratitude.
loss facilitates hope.
loss directs future.
loss dreams constructively.
loss relies purposely.
loss provides a new perspective.
loss builds a BRIDGE.
i am certain, that our loss will provide the FOUNDATION and MOTIVATION for a bridge that could NOT have built without it.
loss is hard.
but sometimes it is NECESSARY.
someone shared this
song by aaron keyes with me last week, and i'm sure that i've double the times on youtube that it's been viewed since then. it has brought healing to my mangled heart.
There is strength within the sorrow, There is beauty in our tears
You meet us in our mourning, With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting, Sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding, You're teaching us to trust
CHORUS
Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
Faithful forever, Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
V2
You are wisdom unimagined, Who could understand your ways
Reigning high above the heavens, Reaching down in endless grace
Youʼre the Lifter of the lowly, Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me, Your promises are my delight
BR
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good, You turn it for our good and for your glory
Even in the valley You are faithful
Youʼre working for our good, Youʼre working for our good and for your glory
some of my favorite fellow bridge builders.
